Tortured Tales of a Collingwood Tragic is the story of one boy's struggle to become a man in spite of the pain of drawn grand-finals, boundary-line incidents, the schoolyard taunts of Carlton-loving scumbags and even the awkwardness of coming to terms with his own supporters. During the 2010 drawn Grand Final, James Gilchrist received no less than 47 text-messages of support or concern, more than he had received for his wedding, his fortieth birthday or the birth of his 3 children. To each, his wife wearily relayed the text: unable 2 respond right now but thank u 4 your support and encouragement at this tense and difficult time. When the game reached its epic conclusion and he remained cemented to the couch like a paralysed gargoyle, the phone finally rang. The first caller asked whether he had jumped off the balcony yet to which she replied. No, but I'm about to push him.