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Product Identifiers

PublisherHolt & Company, Henry

ISBN-101250130778

ISBN-139781250130778

eBay Product ID (ePID)239574979

Product Key Features

Book TitleIf You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late : a Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together

Number of Pages288 Pages

LanguageEnglish

Publication Year2018

TopicMarriage & Long-Term Relationships, Divorce & Separation, Interpersonal Relations

GenreFamily & Relationships, Psychology

AuthorJames J. Sexton

FormatHardcover

Dimensions

Item Height1 in

Item Weight16 Oz

Item Length9.6 in

Item Width6.4 in

Additional Product Features

Intended AudienceTrade

LCCN2017-042566

Reviews"Wryly written with plenty of candid wit and straightforward opinions... Sexton's enthusiasm and affinity for marriage stories is evident throughout as he examines issues such as honesty, sex negotiations, infidelity, long-term relationship 'slippage,' and that stinging realization that 'what's fun when you're dating is a pain in the ass when you're married'... Sage counsel to help readers better navigate the trajectories of their own relationships."-- Kirkus Reviews "Nobody knows the dark side of marriage like a divorce lawyer, and James Sexton is a good one. In this engaging, wry, and illuminating book, Sexton shares his legal war stories and dispenses some no-nonsense relationship advice for anybody thinking about getting married or hoping to stay that way. It's an entertaining dose of tough love from a man who knows what he's talking about."-- Tom Perrotta, author of Little Children and Mrs. Fletcher "Divorce is common, obviously, but how many people make the logical projection that seeds of thousands of future divorces are being planted and nurtured right now? How many couples recognize themselves as the misery farmers? While there's still time to stop themselves? James J. Sexton has a useful vantage point, blunt advice and enough grisly stories to make self-help entertaining--unless, I suppose, the marriage he's describing is yours."-- Carolyn Hax, nationally syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post "Here are three things I did while I read this book: laughed, cringed, and scribbled a whole slew of notes in the margins. In If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late, James Sexton delivers frank, no-holds-barred advice, gleaned from the front lines of divorce. The real trick, though, is how he does it with so much love. Despite its wonderfully grim title, this is a book teeming with hope." -- Grant Ginder, author of The People We Hate at the Wedding, "Who would have guessed that the person who gives the best advice about marriage was the guy responsible for getting you out of yours?" -- Judith Newman, The New York Times Book Review "Nobody knows the dark side of marriage like a divorce lawyer, and James Sexton is a good one. In this engaging, wry, and illuminating book, Sexton shares his legal war stories and dispenses some no-nonsense relationship advice for anybody thinking about getting married or hoping to stay that way. It's an entertaining dose of tough love from a man who knows what he's talking about." -- Tom Perrotta, author of Little Children and Mrs. Fletcher "Divorce is common, obviously, but how many people make the logical projection that seeds of thousands of future divorces are being planted and nurtured right now? How many couples recognize themselves as the misery farmers? While there's still time to stop themselves? James J. Sexton has a useful vantage point, blunt advice and enough grisly stories to make self-help entertaining--unless, I suppose, the marriage he's describing is yours." -- Carolyn Hax, nationally syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post "Here are three things I did while I read this book: laughed, cringed, and scribbled a whole slew of notes in the margins. In If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late, James Sexton delivers frank, no-holds-barred advice, gleaned from the front lines of divorce. The real trick, though, is how he does it with so much love. Despite its wonderfully grim title, this is a book teeming with hope." -- Grant Ginder, author of The People We Hate at the Wedding "Wryly written with plenty of candid wit and straightforward opinions... Sexton's enthusiasm and affinity for marriage stories is evident throughout as he examines issues such as honesty, sex negotiations, infidelity, long-term relationship 'slippage,' and that stinging realization that 'what's fun when you're dating is a pain in the ass when you're married'... Sage counsel to help readers better navigate the trajectories of their own relationships." -- Kirkus Reviews "James J. Sexton's book is a delightful surprise. Sexton is not offering the usual how-to-have-a-happy marriage book, but rather a how-not-to-divorce book...Sexton doesn't judge. People fall in love then life interferes and marriages dissolve. And when they do, you want a clear-eyed lawyer in your corner. However, perhaps reading his book could avoid that meeting." -- The Newark Star Ledger, "Who would have guessed that the person who gives the best advice about marriage was the guy responsible for getting you out of yours?" -- Judith Newman, The New York Times Book Review "Nobody knows the dark side of marriage like a divorce lawyer, and James Sexton is a good one. In this engaging, wry, and illuminating book, Sexton shares his legal war stories and dispenses some no-nonsense relationship advice for anybody thinking about getting married or hoping to stay that way. It's an entertaining dose of tough love from a man who knows what he's talking about." -- Tom Perrotta, author of Little Children and Mrs. Fletcher "Divorce is common, obviously, but how many people make the logical projection that seeds of thousands of future divorces are being planted and nurtured right now? How many couples recognize themselves as the misery farmers? While there's still time to stop themselves? James J. Sexton has a useful vantage point, blunt advice and enough grisly stories to make self-help entertaining--unless, I suppose, the marriage he's describing is yours." -- Carolyn Hax, nationally syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post "Here are three things I did while I read this book: laughed, cringed, and scribbled a whole slew of notes in the margins. In If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late, James Sexton delivers frank, no-holds-barred advice, gleaned from the front lines of divorce. The real trick, though, is how he does it with so much love. Despite its wonderfully grim title, this is a book teeming with hope." -- Grant Ginder, author of The People We Hate at the Wedding "Wryly written with plenty of candid wit and straightforward opinions... Sexton's enthusiasm and affinity for marriage stories is evident throughout as he examines issues such as honesty, sex negotiations, infidelity, long-term relationship 'slippage,' and that stinging realization that 'what's fun when you're dating is a pain in the ass when you're married'... Sage counsel to help readers better navigate the trajectories of their own relationships." -- Kirkus Reviews "James J. Sexton's book is a delightful surprise. Sexton is not offering the usual how-to-have-a-happy marriage book, but rather a how-not-to-divorce book...Sexton doesn't judge. People fall in love then life interferes and marriages dissolve." -- The Newark Star Ledger, "He'll teach you what his years of observing warring couples have taught him. It turns out to be a lot... Sexton's advice is both spot on and very specific--and he sugarcoats nothing... Who would have guessed that the person who gives the best advice about marriage was the guy responsible for getting you out of yours?" -- The New York Times Book Review "Nobody knows the dark side of marriage like a divorce lawyer, and James Sexton is a good one. In this engaging, wry, and illuminating book, Sexton shares his legal war stories and dispenses some no-nonsense relationship advice for anybody thinking about getting married or hoping to stay that way. It's an entertaining dose of tough love from a man who knows what he's talking about." -- Tom Perrotta, author of Little Children and Mrs. Fletcher "Divorce is common, obviously, but how many people make the logical projection that seeds of thousands of future divorces are being planted and nurtured right now? How many couples recognize themselves as the misery farmers? While there's still time to stop themselves? James J. Sexton has a useful vantage point, blunt advice and enough grisly stories to make self-help entertaining--unless, I suppose, the marriage he's describing is yours." -- Carolyn Hax, nationally syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post "Here are three things I did while I read this book: laughed, cringed, and scribbled a whole slew of notes in the margins. In If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late, James Sexton delivers frank, no-holds-barred advice, gleaned from the front lines of divorce. The real trick, though, is how he does it with so much love. Despite its wonderfully grim title, this is a book teeming with hope." -- Grant Ginder, author of The People We Hate at the Wedding "Wryly written with plenty of candid wit and straightforward opinions... Sexton's enthusiasm and affinity for marriage stories is evident throughout as he examines issues such as honesty, sex negotiations, infidelity, long-term relationship 'slippage,' and that stinging realization that 'what's fun when you're dating is a pain in the ass when you're married'... Sage counsel to help readers better navigate the trajectories of their own relationships." -- Kirkus Reviews "James J. Sexton's book is a delightful surprise. Sexton is not offering the usual how-to-have-a-happy marriage book, but rather a how-not-to-divorce book...Sexton doesn't judge. People fall in love then life interferes and marriages dissolve. And when they do, you want a clear-eyed lawyer in your corner. However, perhaps reading his book could avoid that meeting." -- The Newark Star Ledger, "Wryly written with plenty of candid wit and straightforward opinions... Sexton's enthusiasm and affinity for marriage stories is evident throughout as he examines issues such as honesty, sex negotiations, infidelity, long-term relationship 'slippage,' and that stinging realization that 'what's fun when you're dating is a pain in the ass when you're married'... Sage counsel to help readers better navigate the trajectories of their own relationships."-- Kirkus Reviews "Nobody knows the dark side of marriage like a divorce lawyer, and James Sexton is a good one. In this engaging, wry, and illuminating book, Sexton shares his legal war stories and dispenses some no-nonsense relationship advice for anybody thinking about getting married or hoping to stay that way. It's an entertaining dose of tough love from a man who knows what he's talking about."-- Tom Perrotta, author of Little Children and Mrs. Fletcher "James J. Sexton's book is a delightful surprise. Sexton is not offering the usual how-to-have-a-happy marriage book, but rather a how-not-to-divorce book...Sexton doesn't judge. People fall in love then life interferes and marriages dissolve. And when they do, you want a clear-eyed lawyer in your corner. However, perhaps reading his book could avoid that meeting."-- The Newark Star Ledger "Divorce is common, obviously, but how many people make the logical projection that seeds of thousands of future divorces are being planted and nurtured right now? How many couples recognize themselves as the misery farmers? While there's still time to stop themselves? James J. Sexton has a useful vantage point, blunt advice and enough grisly stories to make self-help entertaining--unless, I suppose, the marriage he's describing is yours."-- Carolyn Hax, nationally syndicated advice columnist for The Washington Post "Here are three things I did while I read this book: laughed, cringed, and scribbled a whole slew of notes in the margins. In If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late, James Sexton delivers frank, no-holds-barred advice, gleaned from the front lines of divorce. The real trick, though, is how he does it with so much love. Despite its wonderfully grim title, this is a book teeming with hope." -- Grant Ginder, author of The People We Hate at the Wedding

Dewey Edition23

Dewey Decimal306.89

Table Of ContentIntroduction: Take the Path They Didn't 1. What Is the Problem to Which Marriage Is the Solution? 2. Storytelling: There's an Arc There, Somewhere 3. Hit Send How 4. You Can Be Right or You Can Be Happy 5. Expectation vs. Reality 6. Tight Grips and Loose Arms 7. Reading Minds and Accepting Appearances 8. Everyone's Fucking the Nanny 9. Gratuitous Time-out: And Yes, I Meant Everyone Is Fucking the Nanny 10. Married People: Pretend You're Not 11. Go Without or Go Elsewhere 12. Did You Spend More Time Shopping for Your Car or for Your Spouse? 13. Actually, Past Performance Is Indicative of Future Results 14. The Five Kinds of Infidelity 15. Infidelity Type #3: The Mistake 16. It's So Much Easier to Change the Other Person 17. Gratuitous Time-out: Lie to Me; Everybody Else Does 18. The You, the Me, and the We 19. If We Were Designing an Infidelity-Generating Machine, It Would Be Facebook 20. One of the Pillars of Marriage Is Sex 21. We Know What We Know Until We May Not Want to Know It 22. Gratuitous Time-Out: I Love My Job, Except for When I Hate It 23. You Never Go to Bed with Just One Person 24. Divide and Conquer 25. What You're Getting and What You're Giving 26. The Myth of the Perfect Parent 27. The Divorce Who You Married 28. Gratuitous Time-out: The Case of the Shrinking Penis 29. Know Yourself 30. Intimacy Weaponized, Part I 31. Intimacy Weaponized, Part II: Cross-Examination 32. Argue Better 33. Gut, Heart, and Head 34. The Author of Your Story 35. Who Are You? 36. Gratuitous Time-out: How Not to Let Yourself Be Cross-Examined 37. Write a Letter 38. Yours, Mine, and Ours: The Financial System That Works Best 39. Design, Not Default 40. Acceptance: You Have to Love the Bad Parts, Too 41. The Secret that Shouldn't Be a Secret: Just Give a Shit Afterword: Cannibals

SynopsisHard-hitting divorce lawyer James Sexton shares his insights and wisdom from the front lines of divorce to keep you out of his office and improve your relationship. If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late . James Sexton knows this. After dealing with more than a thousand clients whose marriages have dissolved over everything from an ill-advised threesome with the nanny to the uneven division of carpool duties, he also knows all of the what-not-to-dos for couples who want to build--and consistently work to preserve--a lasting, fulfilling relationship. Described by former clients as a "courtroom gunslinger" and "the sociopath you want on your side," Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about relationships, diving straight into the most common marital problems. These usually derive from dishonest--or nonexistent--communication. Even when the alleged reason for separation is one spouse's new "personal trainer," there's likely a communication problem that predates the fitness kick. Symptom and root cause get confused all the time. Sexton has spent his career working with spouses-to-be-no-longer. Reverse engineering a relationship can help to identify and fix what does not work. Ever feel like you're holding back criticism of your spouse because you just can't have that fight right now? Sexton will tell you to "Hit Send Now." Maybe you aren't as adventurous as you used to be, or need some "you time," but for some reason it seems weird or exhausting to change up the routine now. Sexton knows where that mentality leads and offers viable alternative paths to take. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned to help couples that aren't so far gone get back on track., Hard-hitting divorce lawyer James Sexton shares his insights and wisdom from the front lines of divorce to keep you out of his office and improve your relationship. If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late . James Sexton knows this. After dealing with more than a thousand clients whose marriages have dissolved over everything from an ill-advised threesome with the nanny to the uneven division of carpool duties, he also knows all of the what-not-to-dos for couples who want to build--and consistently work to preserve--a lasting, fulfilling relationship. Described by former clients as a "courtroom gunslinger" and "the sociopath you want on your side," Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about relationships, diving straight into the most common marital problems. These usually derive from dishonest--or nonexistent--communication. Even when the alleged reason for separation is one spouse's new "personal trainer," there's likely a communication problem that predates the fitness kick. Symptom and root cause get confused all the time. Sexton has spent his career working with spouses-to-be-no-longer. Reverse engineering a relationship can help to identify and fix what does not work. Ever feel like you're holding back criticism of your spouse because you just can't have that fight right now? Sexton will tell you to "Hit Send Now." Maybe you aren't as adventurous as you used to be, or need some you time, but for some reason it seems weird or exhausting to change up the routine now. Sexton knows where that mentality leads and offers viable alternative paths to take. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned to help couples that aren't so far gone get back on track.

LC Classification NumberHQ814.S43 2018