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Eros of Parenthood : Explorations in Light and Dark by Noelle Oxenhandler (2001, Hardcover)

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Product Identifiers

PublisherSt. Martin's Press
ISBN-100312269765
ISBN-139780312269760
eBay Product ID (ePID)1753861

Product Key Features

Book TitleEros of Parenthood : Explorations in Light and Dark
Number of Pages304 Pages
LanguageEnglish
TopicParenting / General, Parenting / Motherhood
Publication Year2001
IllustratorYes
FeaturesRevised
GenreFamily & Relationships
AuthorNoelle Oxenhandler
FormatHardcover

Dimensions

Item Height1.2 in
Item Weight19.8 Oz
Item Length9.7 in
Item Width7.4 in

Additional Product Features

Intended AudienceTrade
LCCN00-045763
Reviews"I have waited for years for this book! Finally someone talks openly and wisely about the passion any normal parent feels for a child. The fear of molestation is creating a generation of kids that grow up without the joy of healthy physical touch."--Isabelle Allende, author of The House of Spirits , The Daughter of Fortune , and Paula "Reading The Eros of Parenthood reminds me of the first night my three-year-old daughter saw a country sky full of stars. It is full of the wonder, exhilaration, joy, and mystery of such times. Writing with the ease and intelligence of someone who has known such nights, Noelle Oxenhandler helps us appreciate the aching, tender beauty of parenting. This is a book to treasure."--Mark Epstein, M.D., author of Going On Being , Thoughts Without a Thinker , and Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart "As I read this, I was stunned by how much deep wisdom and psychological sophistication and understanding runs through it. Noelle Oxenhandler has taken the hard-won insights of one hundred years of psychoanalysis (about sexuality, gender, bodies, human need, recognition, and human agency) and put them in such accessible and real-life terms."--Jonathan Slavin, Ph.D., President-Elect, Division of Psychoanalysis, American Psychological Association, and Director, Counseling Center, Tufts University, "I have waited for years for this book! Finally someone talks openly and wisely about the passion any normal parent feels for a child. The fear of molestation is creating a generation of kids that grow up without the joy of healthy physical touch."--Isabelle Allende, author of The House of Spirits, The Daughter of Fortune, and Paula "Reading The Eros of Parenthood reminds me of the first night my three-year-old daughter saw a country sky full of stars. It is full of the wonder, exhilaration, joy, and mystery of such times. Writing with the ease and intelligence of someone who has known such nights, Noelle Oxenhandler helps us appreciate the aching, tender beauty of parenting. This is a book to treasure."--Mark Epstein, M.D., author of Going On Being, Thoughts Without a Thinker, and Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart "As I read this, I was stunned by how much deep wisdom and psychological sophistication and understanding runs through it. Noelle Oxenhandler has taken the hard-won insights of one hundred years of psychoanalysis (about sexuality, gender, bodies, human need, recognition, and human agency) and put them in such accessible and real-life terms."--Jonathan Slavin, Ph.D., President-Elect, Division of Psychoanalysis, American Psychological Association, and Director, Counseling Center, Tufts University
TitleLeadingThe
Dewey Edition21
Dewey Decimal306.874
Edition DescriptionRevised edition
SynopsisLeaning over a sleeping child or waiting for a small dripping body to emerge from the tub, what parent hasn't felt the pull of contradictory emotions: the rush of tenderness, the pang of anxiety? We know that the physical love between parent and child is both natural and necessary, yet it's a subject we're afraid to approach - indeed, it's been called "the last taboo." In language both lyrical and provocative, The Eros of Parenthood explores this highly charged and controversial territory.Even to put the two words together- eros and parenthood - is to enter a forbidden realm. Yet the two are inextricably linked. For eros, the energy of connection, fuels the immense labor of parental care, fosters the formation of the human self, and lies at the foundation of all forms of human love. In its intense physicality, the love between parent and young child is similar to that between adult lovers, but it is different in some absolutely crucial ways. Healthy parental love is sheltering, protective. Putting the child's needs first, this love respects the inequality - in size, power, and maturity - between parent and child.Alas, in our zeal to protect children from the trauma of sexual abuse, we often resort to black-and-white thinking. Because we are afraid to acknowledge the erotic component of parent-child love, the most innocent interactions become suspect. The atmosphere becomes so saturated with anxiety that it intrudes on the most tender moments between parent and child.Navigating between the extremes of injurious denial and hysterical fear, The Eros of Parenthood finds a middle ground. While celebrating the passion that naturally exists between parent and child, it seeks the limits of this passion. Inspired by the fairy-tale figure of Goldilocks, Noelle Oxenhandler takes as a central question: "Between the poles of too hot and too cold, too much and too little, how can I find the just right ?"The answer to this question lies in the power of attunement . A dynamic process of adjustment that balances between fusion and separateness, attunement is the compass in Goldilocks's hand, the key to the mystery of intimacy between parent and child. To understand this is tocf0discover a way through the eros of parenthood that, while breaking the grip of fearful thinking, leads to an authentic sense of boundary.In poetic prose that encompasses topics as subtle as a pregnant mother's dream and as dramatic as the recovered memory of abuse, The Eros of Parenthood breaks new ground. Personal, yet with profoundly social implications, the book employs a highly readable format in which each chapter consists of a linked sequence of "explorations" that can be read in a single sitting, in the brief interstices of a busy parent's life. The hardest thing for us, in the wake of what we have too often witnessed is - while keeping our children safe from harm - to experience the full measure of delight in them. To gaze at them while they sleep - on their backs with limbs flung like the petals of an open flower or curled on their sides like an inner ear... Through responsibility and tender awareness, parents and children can reclaim a form of love that is natural, necessary, and the ground of all human intimacy.
LC Classification NumberHQ755.85.O94 2001